I lived in Japan, Spain, and the UK. Even though I've faced racism as a Black American, I'd rather l

• Londí Cox is an international psychologist who's lived abroad since 2014 and now lives in Japan.
• Cox said she's experienced racism living as a Black American in Spain, England, and Japan.
• But she would choose to live abroad over living in America because it feels safer.

This is an as-told-to essay based on a conversation with Dr. Londí Cox, an international psychologist and expat therapist who's been living abroad since 2014. The essay has been edited for length and clarity.

I'm an international psychologist, which means I've studied different cultures and cross-cultural human behavior. I became interested in how culture shapes psychology, especially in other countries.

I'm originally from California, where I spent most of my life before I decided to move overseas to Madrid to learn Spanish because I wanted to become a bilingual therapist. Once I got overseas, I realized how different it was from everything I had experienced in America.

Right off the bat, I noticed differences in value systems. Growing up in Los Angeles, I knew that the American value system was working up the hierarchy at work to get the desired salary, the corner office, the C-suite position, and with that comes supposed wealth and status.

In Spain, I learned that siestas aren't just nap times, but rather for family time. Children go to school for long hours, sometimes until 5 or 6 p.m., and same with parents at work. Siestas allow families to spend a few hours together in the middle of the day before they go back to school and work.

It really showed me how highly they valued community, whereas America is more individualistic.

After two years in Spain, I moved to England for six years, and then to Japan after that. In each place, I've noticed that just as perceived values differed, so did my experience as a Black American.

Even though racism exists in basically every country, the type of racism I encounter abroad is the lesser of two evils compared to the racism in America.

Discrimination abroad

Of the three places I've lived abroad, I've received more negative attention for being a Black woman in Madrid. There was a lot of staring and pointing, not because of admiration, but because I was Black.

There are Afro-Spanish people in Spain, but a lot of times, they would refer to me as "morena" — Black. They would call me out as a Black person, even though other people would be called "señor" or "señora." It felt derogatory in that sense.

In England, I didn't feel discriminated against because of the color of my skin, but rather because I was American. As soon as they heard my American accent, their attitudes shifted.

One time, I told my friend that my pants were wet. But they call pants "trousers" in the UK, and there were some people who thought I said my underwear was wet. They said something like, "You vulgar American, you don't know how to speak in public."

Here in Okinawa, Japan, sometimes I feel any type of discrimination is because I'm American. I recognize the complicated history with the US military in Okinawa.

It's in places like Tokyo that I've felt more discrimination because I'm Black. I was out one night with a group of three or four other Black girls. We were denied entry into every club. Cabs ignored us and drove by. A group of guys were laughing and pointing at us.

I'd still choose living abroad over living in America

The experiences of racism I've had overseas is different from racism in America. I've never feared for my life abroad.

Sure, I'll face some ridicule and it's uncomfortable, but in the US, it's more about: Are they going to pull out a gun? If the police get involved, then what happens?

It obviously hurts in both scenarios, but it's far more severe in America.

It feels oxymoronic to feel racism overseas and still feel safer than in my own home country. When I think about starting a family and raising children, if I have to choose the lesser of two evils, I would rather them experience racism overseas than in America.

It almost feels like a playground-type of racism, like, "I'm going to point and laugh." And then once it's all said and done, that's it. Whereas in America, it's very violent and you just don't know how far it's going to go.

The quality of life in every region I've lived overseas is another factor. Even though I've been in different areas of my career, making different salaries, the quality of life — and the peace of mind — living overseas far outweighs living in America.

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